GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging; but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost some wars, won some great battles but haunted by past mistakes, still very strong and proud.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Off the beaten path , with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...still desirable but only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge and true love dare visit there.
GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 78, a man is like Iran, ruled by a dick.
Thanks to my loving daughter for this expert bit of romantic anthropology ...
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I've got a dear friend up north who is a lovable bear of a guy. He growls and grumbles and sometimes looks like a misogynistic redneck. OK, all the time. But I know different: He's still married to the same girl whose picture he kept on his desk in college, when we were roommates, and I think she (and his daughters) have him wrapped around their little fingers.
But he sent me this, and it made me laugh. I don't belive any of this stuff (well, most of it ... ) but I love entertaining all my blogger friends!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is
about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required internal pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Will women ever be equal to men?
Not until they can walk down the street with a
bald head and a beer-gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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