Friday, August 01, 2008

Why I'm Voting Democrat: The terrorists will like us

This screed is circulating on the Internet ... and it's pretty funny in a cynical sorta way!

10 Reasons I'll Be Voting Democrat in '08

10. I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

9. I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

8. I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

7. I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in 10 years if I don't start driving a Prius.

6. I'm voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

5. I'm voting Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as wise liberal-minded thinkers see fit.

4. I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

3. I'm voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over there, when they come over here I don't want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.

2. I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

1. I'm voting Democrat because I like the words "hope" and "change." Also "kazoo." That's a funny word.

Makes ya wonder why anyone would EVER vote Republican, now doesn't it?


Trimm said...

All of that aside, if you want to align yourself with most negroes, most Jews, most homosexuals, and most Latins, vote Democrat!

Jana said...

Wonder what would happen if nobody voted... period.
Would the pure show of apathy fall on deaf ears? Would all the politicians wonder what's wrong out there? All their propoganda about our right to vote and how every vote counts...and nobody showed up, nobody sent in their absentee ballots??
What I read tells me my vote doesn't count for crappola anyway. Even if I vote for the very best #1 top Republican honestest candidate on the planet, it doesn't matter -- only the high exhaulted Electoral College vote matters, because "we the people" are too emotionally motivated to vote correctly.
However - if it DID matter who I voted for, I'd vote Republican because I agree that I have the right to do for me and my family what best serves us and our higher power (which will remain nameless so as to not offend any readers or writers of UtN.

Robert said...

I'm voting Republican because:
1. Less regulation of our financial markets will certainly turn them around.
2. I like borrowing money from the Chinese to fund the deficit.
3. Attacking Iraq has gone so well I'm ready for the Iranian phase.
4. The earth is only 10,000 years old, and ancient man rode the dinosaurs for sport.
5. I'm a gay bashing homosexual.
6. I'm a Clinton hating philanderer
7. I'm a torture loving Christian.
8. I'm a don't-tax and do-spend Conservative.
9. I hunt doves with automatic weapons.
10. W was an awesome President.

SingingSkies said...

I received a Republican questionnaire inviting me to express my opinion to the Republican National Committee as to what issues the presidential campaign should focus on (as well as a request for $$). Most of the questions, with their multiple choice answers, were framed pretty much along the lines of the "10 Reasons". (Question on economics - answer (d) was something like "I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would", for example)

Love, Rita said...

Dripping with sarcasm...I like that.

Maybe I'll vote Democratic, too!