Thursday, October 04, 2007

Trick or Tract: The Christian Hallo-weenies

Some of the scariest spooks who'll haunt us on Halloween will be the slasher Christians who see the holiday as the Devil's barn dance. Party-poopers.

Lori D'Augostine, an associate producer at Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network, posted an essay at CBN's website on the evil behind Halloween. To her, trick-or-treaters are little souls surrounded by the Occult, but instead of turning off the porchlight, she advises Christians to reach out to them.

"Did you ever wonder why Halloween seems to primarily feed off of a market of 3-13 year olds?" Lori writes. "This is a Satanic ploy for our children. I don't think that Christian children should completely abstain from the festivities of costumes and candy, because they can be a light through their alternative behavior. [I personally plan on dressing my children up in Biblical and God-honoring characters that will draw people to ask questions.]"

Satanic ploy? I thought it was just good, old-fashioned American marketing. I must be a true heathen.

And I'm not sure some Bible characters would be an improvement over SpongeBob Squarepants. ("Oh, such a pretty little girl. Who are you?" "Thank you, ma'am. I'm a Bible character named Jezebel!") Hey, maybe a bunch of kids could go as the Seven Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Instead of candy, Lori suggests handing out homemade Bible tracts or Scripture Candy and EvangeCandy, "the only candy with color-coded Gospels on every wrapper!" All the cavities of pagan candy without the guilt.

Yeah, that's the way to save a soul ... and get your house TP'd. maybe you should give the little devils some Hershey's white chocolate. That'll teach 'em.

6 comments:

SingingSkies said...

Well, if Halloween is a "Satanic ploy", it certainly didn't work. When I was growing up, the church we went to even held a neighborhood spook house with all of the classic home-made scary items, including a casket (borrowed from a local funeral home)and the "undead" rising out of it. After the spook house, everyone gathered for hot dogs roasted on an open fire and s'mores.

The "hell houses" set up by some churches bother me even more than Halloween could ever do. Sure, they're designed to be scary, but I'm pretty sure that being "scared faithful" is not what Jesus had in mind.

Guess I'll join you in the heathen camp on this one. *chuckle*

Balancing Act said...

I guess we are all heathens if this is the case. As far as my 5 and 2 year old is concerned the holiday is an opporunity to get more sugar than their little bodies can handle and more than their parent will let them consume. BTW - Walker will be a lion and Peyton will be the Monkey. As far as I knew the whole ritual of Halloween was that you dressed up so the ghosts and other goblins couldn't tell you apart. Am I wrong on this? We go around the neighborhood (24 houses), the kids then go to bed and we sit outside and have a glass of wine with a few of our neighbors. Yup - sounds like we all heathens. I can live with that.

Granny J said...

My only objection to Halloween is that the marketing men have discovered it. In spades. In our town, Halloween now begins Sept. 1.

Balancing Act said...

In response to Granny J - we had Christmas stuff up by Labor Day weekend. It is very sad.

Robin Artisson said...

The apocalypse has four horsemen, not seven.

Ron Franscell said...

Roibin: You are absolutely correct! Maybe I was thinking that if Notre Dame had Four, then surely Hell must have Seven! (Or maybe I just wasn't thinking at all.)

Thanks for the correction!

Ron