Monday, August 06, 2007

Texas Redneck Games: Y'all win!

Blake Harris was disqualified from the Mud-Pit Belly-Buster event because
he used his hands to protect his gut (Nicole Fruge/San Antonio Express-News)

You might be a redneck ... if you spend your weekend in Athens, Texas, with about 7,000 other people who might be rednecks, competing in such events as the Coeducational Butt-crack Contest, Spam-Eating, bobbing in soup for animal parts, and tossing a mattress out of a trailer.

Them are the Texas Redneck Games, and they happened last weekend at the 3,000-acre Pool Ranch in northeast Texas. Throw in some four-wheelin' and some wet T-shirts, and you got yerself a hoedown.

At the Spam-scarfing event, there was one important rule to remember: ""If you get sick and you can put it back in your mouth before it hits the table, you don't lose points."

Can you toss a toilet seat onto a spike? Yes? If you can build a three-bedroom double-wide with duct tape and spackle, if your dark roots are at least three inches long, and if you think Genitalia is an Italian airline, Lordy, this here festival is fer you'uns.



Chancelucky said...

Wow,I'm so sorry I couldn't attend this one in person.

Bossier said...

I was there!!! Graet time, awesome mud trails. Just a normal ole Country gal that loves the challange seeing how far we push our Bikes threw the big mud holes. It got a little crazy towards the night but all in all I was fun.