What if you died and came back as ... a pencil?
Well, you gotta admit it's more likely than coming back as a billionaire princess who will win the Nobel Prize for economics and star in your own reality TV show.
Using about a tablespoon of your cremated ashes, a Canadian artist will make a pencil that he'll use to draw a portrait of you. That way, Lucas Seaward of Honor Industries can literally put a little of you in every portrait he draws.
"My objective is to capture the essence of that individual," Seaward says. No duh.
It ain't cheap. Prices start at about $4,700. But you're dead so you don't really care. The kids will pay.
And because you're dead, you can't criticize Seaward's work either. But Seaward is a pretty good artist, as you can see from his "regular" graphite drawing of Albert Einstein.
Your cremated ashes -- your carbon -- can also be made into a diamond by at least one company, LifeGem. This is an Earth-friendly way to say "I've got Grandma wrapped around my little finger." For less than the cost of a headstone!
As for me, I plan to have some of my ashes sprinkled in the inkwell of a daily newspaper press so that every paper rolling off will have a little of me in it. Every puppy that gets paper-trained ... every birdcage that gets lined ... every fish that gets wrapped ... well, nobody said dying was gonna be hygienic.