Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The GRITS Guide to Southern Men

A new book presumes to sketch the typical Southern Man ... and tell women how to live with them. If such a thing possible.

For your edification, author Deborah Ford says Southern Men break down into two main types: The gun-totin' good ol' boy and ... well, Rhett Butler. (What? Not Elvis? Bear Bryant?)

Here's the Southern Man, as defined by Deborah Ford, author of the new "Bless his Heart: The GRITS Guide to Loving (or Just Living With) Southern Men" (with some editorial comments):

1. He's a tough but fair businessman with a strong country accent or Southern drawl but an even stronger common sense. (He knows he's a redneck when ...)

2. He's always ready with a drink for his friend and to take off his hat to any passing lady. (And for a late-night possum-spotlighting gig.)

3. Whether he lives in a shack or a mansion, he's proud and independent. To put it bluntly, this is the same thing as being too big for his britches and just plain ornery. (What if he lives in a trailer?)

4. He can be thin as Lyle Lovett or hefty as Junior Samples. (Although one hopes he can be better looking than either of them.)

5. He does not like to go to black-tie events or dress himself. (He thinks "cummerbund" is something they sell at Victoria's Secret.)

6. He does not want to go to the mall. (Again, Victoria's Secret is involved.)

7. He's a man in overalls with few words but a lot of wisdom. (Again, Junior Samples is involved.)

8. He's rough but handsome and sings country songs so sad they can make a statue cry. (Pshaw. Statues weep for a lot of reasons.)

OK, friends, what other characteristics of Southern men can you add to this list?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Momma's boy.