Monday, August 14, 2006

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order Is "To Go."

12. Sing along at the Opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity ... link this list to make somebody smile ... it's called "therapy"


Jill said...

LOL! Thanks for starting my blah week off good! I'm going to have to keep a copy of this for my husband!

SingingSkies said...

Love this one Thanks for bringing it back to the surface It usually makes its way into at least one newsletter wherever I am

hmmmmmm I might have a bit of a problem with #7 though dont you think

and I cant think of how many times Ive actually ordered at the drivethru and asked to have it to go Grand Fun

Don said...

Surely made my day. Thanks!

That Cleaning Lady said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
That Cleaning Lady said...

Thanks for the laugh, I sure appreciate it. How fun!!