"I love you, but your credit's not that good.''
"I said I love you and think I want to spend my life with you,
but right now I'm in Safeway and I can't find anything,
so I'll call you later.''
"I think he married the first nonhooker he met.''
"She is my second wife. I'm actually much closer
to my first wife, though. We've exchanged gunfire.''
"I was looking for someone for just a really good time,
but then I peeked at his iTunes playlist.
He'd be serious baggage.''
Yep, those are all real quotes from real people. After my screed yesterday about fibbery in the media, would I lie to you? Well, not today anyway. Lying on Valentine's Day is like ... oh wait, I suppose a lot of lies get told on Valentine's Day .... but these quotes are genuine. Probably. I hope.
Want to see more? Check out Leah Garchik's column in today's San Francisco Chronicle. That's where these quotes were harvested.
Hey, let's start our own list. What's the funniest thing you've ever heard said in the name of romance? Man, woman, whatever. Love, lust, like-real-bad, love-you-but-not-in-love-with-you ... whatever.