"Women who seek to be equal to men, lack ambition."
It turns out that the ability to really enjoy revenge is mainly a guy thing, according to a new study. Women, it turns out, really suck at enjoying the pain of their rivals, according to Nature magazine. (And anybody who believes that has never divorced a woman.)
There's actually a fancy name for this characteristic: Schadenfreude, or the malicious enjoyment derived from other people's troubles. It combines the German words for "damage" and "joy" (pronounced SHAH-den-froy-duh.)
And male superiority in schadenfreude is possibly the result of evolution, the researchers at the University College of London said. "Lower male empathy may have something to do with their ability in keeping the society together by being able to coldly dole out sentences," they said.
Hold the phone ... men were only superior to women when the victim deserved it, the study said. "They expressed more desire for revenge and seemed to feel satisfaction when unfair people were given what they perceived as deserved physical punishment," said one article.
Otherwise, men showed the same empathy as women when the victim was being punished unfairly. "These results suggest that fairness in social situations shapes the nature of the emotional link we have to other people," said Dr. Tania Singer.
Well, this still doesn't explain a billion years of spurned women whose furies Hell hath none of, but you can't argue with science.
WARNING: Men, do not use the word "schadenfreude" in the presence of your male friends. They will take great pleasure in making you suffer for being a geeky sissy. That's how schadenfreude works.