Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I wanna be a crackhead toddler, too

Leave it to the San Francisco Chronicle's perversely irreverent Mark Morford to see a commercial opportunity in depravity, addiction and richly re-imagined history:

"I shall start my story humbly, meekly, just like JT LeRoy and James Frey. Small town, somewhere in Idaho or maybe rural Montana, brought up by a sadistic pedophiliac Pentecostal preacher father who only has one good arm and a decimated colon, and a narcoleptic mother with 17 cats who sucks down cases of Tab and reads the 'Left Behind' books as nonfiction and who passes out every night in a Percocet haze watching endless reruns of 'Knight Rider.'"

Want to know the rest of the story? Click through to Morford's hilarious column in today's Chronicle


Love, Rita said...

I read the above referenced editorial. Loved it! The life of an addict (and of the addict's wife) is nowhere near as grand or glamorous as I have been led to believe that Frey depicts it in his quasi-nonfictional account "A Million Little Pieces" Thanks for recommending it!

Houston said...

Mark Morford, huh? You're getting tougher and tougher to pigeonhole. That's about the nicest thing I've ever said to a newspaper editor. Cheers.

Ron Franscell said...

Thanks, Houston!

Craig Bruce, a geeky Canadian software engineer whom I've never met (nor been inclined to quote before), said:

"There is no one more difficult to pigeonhole than a reasonable man."

OK, so what does he know? He also said: "Isn't it funny how the farmers are starving but I am not?"

SingingSkies said...

About the only thing missing was abduction by aliens *chuckle* A point well made in such a humorous way! Thanks!

Assorted Babble by Suzie said...

You said it.."Leave it to the San Francisco Chronicle's"

I can't believe what I just read!! Stunned!!! and Speechless!!!

TexasFred said...

Are you familiar with this source??

ChronWatch -- Media watchdog and conservative news organization, striving for Balance in the News

Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

Morford can be funny when he is not frothing at the mouth over Christians and conservatives which is most of the time. Mostly though he's simply trying so hard to be the perfect San Francisco rebel with too many causes.