Tuesday, October 18, 2005

You know you live on the Gulf Coast when ...

g You have FEMA's number on speed dial.
g You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
g You know what 'Contraflow' means.
g Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Ravioli.
g Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
g You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
g The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
g You own more than three large coolers.
g You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
g You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a
gallon of gas to get there and back"
g You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your
freezer.
g Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can
assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
g You catch a 13-pound redfish. In your driveway.
g You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
g You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
g There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
g You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
g Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
g Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
g Your new "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.
g Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
g You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.
g You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a
tree worker.
g A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
g Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you didn't go to Ole
Miss!
g Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's
Christmas.
g You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
g Your kids started school in August and will finish next July.
g You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.
g The first restaurant to open is Taco Bell/McDonalds/Sonic for lunch &
the line begins in the middle of the highway. You wait in it for about
20 minutes...it was so good that you return for supper.

3 comments:

Thereasa Montes said...

HAHAHA ... I love it!!

Bryan said...

We are shooting for the trifecta:

2005 ties the 1933 record for most named storms - 21;

Wilma has tied the 1969 record for most hurricanes - 12;

and if she hits Category 3 there's a tie with 1996 for the most major hurricanes - 6.

Katrina will probably be the most expensive storm ever, but we have fortunately not surpassed the Galveston death toll.

Interesting times, indeed.

Ryan said...

Holy shit thats great.... its so true... Wow that man is a genius and tells it straight.