Saturday, September 10, 2005

What's in your sack?

Just an idle question after the weekly trip to the supermarket -- where about $125 worth of produce, canned goods, a dozen frozen meals, a bunch of raw meat, a pineapple, some cottage cheese, a bottle of Pickapeppa sauce, some blueberries, a loaf of French bread, two cans of refried beans, two blocks of cheddar, a large box of lasagna noodles, some Cajun spices, several bottles of water, ice cream bars, two pints of sour cream, three frozen pizzas, three bags of seedless grapes, three boxes of Wheat Thins, a 12-pack of cola, two baking potatoes, a couple tins of mandarin oranges, a head of cabbage, a cute little tub of ricotta cheese and a box of Rice Krispie treats were somehow mashed into about three delicate plastic sacks.

Here's my question: Is the art of grocery-sacking truly lost forever? Is mankind destined to wander ill-sacked (as prophesied) "liketh a cart-wrangler goeth to the ends of the sacred lot"? Will another pimple-faced bagger-messiah arise and teach a new gospel of "Thou shalt not cast bread beneath steel, nor grapes before melons"?

Believe.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Ron. Let me tell you a little something about grocery shopping and the single man/woman. Everyone knows that you can meet people at the grocery store. Single women have taken this a bit farther and have developed a keen sense of cart viewing. One glance in a man's cart is enough. We look for men with lots of produce, a clear knowledge of interesting ingredients that involve actual cooking, and few, if any, frozen meals. We want a man who can cook, not someone who needs a nutritionist. I see you have lots of produce, a good sign. I also may be looking at the ingredients for lasagna, and yes, the noodles were a big clue. But Rice Krispie treats? Frozen meals? Pizza? Ice Cream Bars? Then again, I had a pint of Graeters Ice Cream in my cart ths week. Tell me this, do you bury the junk food? If so, your cart would rate a second glance and you are on the way to Supermarket Shopping Smarts for the single man.

As for the bags--why not use paper? I recycle those again and again. I envy you the fact that you have baggers. Here, the sight of a person with a full cart often sends them scurrying off to get carts from the lot. The plus side to bagging for myself, is that I have a lot more bags to use at home when I'm finished. If your bagger is crushing your grapes, tell him!!!

Ron Franscell said...

Uh ... the good stuff was for me.

The bad stuff was for, uh, my dog. He's a slob.

Matts said...

Not a lost art... there are still plenty of excellent bag artistes. Just so long as the don't fling them at you.

Not to worry.

Anonymous said...

actually, maybe he has a girlfriend, and the good stuff is for her...

gregw said...

I was a bagger at a supermarket when I was a kid and I think paper bags have it all over plastic. We could arrange items in the sack geometrically so that everything stayed in place. And we could do it fast. Of course, that was back in the day when we also had to know the price of every item in the store, before they had scanners. That was back in the day when we actually had to work for a living. But I date myself.

God, I'm getting old.

Will said...

I can’t help but wonder the same question. Why is it acceptable for my milk to be in the same stretched beyond capacity plastic bag as my dishwasher detergent? When did it stop being good practice to actually be gentle with bread, eggs and bags of potato chips? Ever wonder why there’s so many chip crumbs in the bottom of the bag…hello…can you say lack of bagging skills training. Would it be too much to ask that grocery stores spend at least 2 hours during orientation day (which begs the question…do they even bother to orient new hires at all any more?) on the proper techniques (not to mention the polite techniques) that should be used when bagging my groceries?

It would make me exceedingly happy if I could come home and know that all of my frozen goods were bagged together and that all of my caustic, nasty, dangerous cleaning products were not bagged with my pasta, Pop Tarts and hamburger. But then again…I could just be stoned on some non-existant drug that I must obviously be partaking of. Just a random thought…